• Skip to main content
  • Skip to header right navigation
  • Skip to site footer
NLP Assoc.

NLP Assoc.

Empowering You with Neuro Linguistic Programming

  • About
  • Events
  • Find an NLP Coach or Trainer
  • What is NLP?
  • FAQ
  • Blog
  • Video Learning
  • Connect

How to erode your confidence

There’s a simple way to erode your confidence and it’s a great way to ensure you never get a promotion as well.

Here is your lesson in Eroding Confidence 101.

First you must master the art of discounting.  You must be very good at deflecting compliments and praise.  So, when your boss comes to you and says “job well done”, make sure you give your team all the credit for whatever it was.  Discount yourself.  Accept no responsibility for whatever miracle you just created.  Give all the credit to someone else or better a team of people, irrespective if they had anything to do with it.

Here’s what it sounds like in real life:  My husband works in the restaurant industry and he single-handily brought a celebrity chef’s restaurant concept into Singapore.  He hired an executive chef, an executive sous chef and several other management members to run the new restaurant.  Before the restaurant opened, my husband had some of the team around for dinner at our home.  The executive chef and sous chef were commenting on the amazing foot traffic at the site of the new restaurant and said it was the best they’d ever seen.  Both were excited about opening the restaurant in this location.  I said to my husband, “Well done.  You obviously chose the best place for the restaurant.”  He quickly replied, “I didn’t do anything.”  That is discounting.  My husband was the only one working on this project during the time when the restaurant location was decided and negotiated.  He was the only one who had anything to do with the decision and yet he said to me and the others, “I didn’t do anything.”

Accept no responsibility for anything that goes right.  That’s the first step.

The second step is to accept blame for everything that goes wrong.  Protect your team!  Don’t let the blame go any farther than you.  It doesn’t matter who screwed up, right?  It’s your responsibility isn’t it?  Make sure you let your boss know that you should’ve been on top of it.  You weren’t micromanaging enough.  Accept your failure and make sure when it happens again, you remember what a failure you are.

With these two strategies in place, your mind will take over and that little voice inside your head will keep up the negative self talk all by itself.  It will remind you of your worthlessness and your mistakes.  It will remember all the times that stuff went wrong and fog over all of the times stuff went right.  That voice will nag and berate you endlessly and you will have mastered the art of eroding your confidence.  You might even pick up depression on the way.

Well done you (remember to discount this and give credit to the rest of the world for causing this)!

Oh, and if your interested in getting your confidence back, see my related post, “Thank you very much.“

Category: Blog, Confidence

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Quick Links

  • About the Association
  • Upcoming Events
  • Find a NLP Coach or Trainer
  • What is NLP?
  • FAQ
  • Video Learning
  • Blog
  • Connect

Follow Us

  • YouTube

Stay Connected

For Announcements & Offers

Sign Up

Copyright © 2023 ยท All Rights Reserved NLPA Singapore

NLP Assoc.
Manage Cookie Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}

Insert/edit link

Enter the destination URL

Or link to existing content

    No search term specified. Showing recent items. Search or use up and down arrow keys to select an item.